Is anyone else scared of the person they will become once they reach their goal? I hope that doesn't sound crazy, but I sometimes get nervous about not knowing how "new and improved Alison" will be. I think I have been so used to being in the "big girl" body and I know how to "be" a plus size girl, but I don't know how to "be" anything other than that. It has been part of my identity for my entire life. No one has ever expected me to be smaller than what I am, even myself. I find myself, even now, saying to people (when they ask me about how much weight I'm trying to lose), "Well, I know I'll never be skinny, so I really just want to lose about 60lbs." Well, dammit, why can't I be skinny?!? I can! And today when I was working out I got pissed about all the times people told me I was "just big boned" or "you have a pretty face" or "you looked so good when you were about xx lbs." This has made me reconsider my goal.
I certainly am sticking to my 60 by 30 ;) but I'm thinking about trying to lose 20 more after that by the end of the year. If so, I would be a healthy bmi. And I think that this would be awesome motivation for myself and it would be me proving to all those people, that have ever doubted me, wrong! I would be included in that group of people ;)
Just a few thoughts...
You can do it, Alison!! You may find some things change about yourself, but you also may find that you keep forgetting you're physically different until something reminds you, if that makes any sense. It's also really hard when other people respond badly, because you're no longer filling the role they need you to fill, if that makes any sense?
ReplyDeleteYou're doing an amazing thing for your health, I'm so psyched for you that it's going so well:)