Thoughts Per Pound

I've noticed that many things have changed since I've lost weight. I wanted to chronicle one thing for each pound that I have lost. So, I will start with 60 things and will add to the list for each additional pound I've lost. I'm hoping that on days I feel unmotivated the list will make me recognize how much better it is for me to be healthier and not to go back to how I was before.

We are about to head to the outlets today, so I'm going to post the new page later tonight.

I hope everyone has a fabulous Sunday!

Last few days...

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while because we've been running around like crazy getting things straight with our cars, sending our niece to college, getting things around the house together and just spending some family time together. :)

I haven't been to the gym in 2 days... oh wait today will be 3 days! Oops! Thursday and Friday I missed because of the things mentioned above, but today was completely my fault. I was excited about going and while I was running errands this morning I remembered that the daycare at the gym is only open 9am-1pm on Saturdays. Ugh. It was already 11am and I knew there was no way I would make it there and workout on time. Fail. I'm thinking maybe if it is not too hot tonight maybe I'll go for a walk tonight with Madie. We will see. I'm running a million errands today, so that should burn a few calories ;)

Diet wise I've been doing okay though. I'm not expecting a huge loss this week, I'll just be happy to maintain my goal weight :) That was a huge accomplishment this week, so I'm satisfied with that.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! :)

I F@#$%IN DID IT!!!!!

...as of this morning...

198.2 on.the.dot.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! Honestly, when I started this journey I thought I would get *maybe* half way there and be satisfied. I *never* thought I would or could actually do it! The pride I have in myself right now is overwhelming! I've always been successful in other ventures in my life, but weight loss was always the one that I could never grasp. It is an amazing feeling... it's like a lifetime of memories and emotions are just pouring into my head all at once...and I just keep telling myself "Holy s@#t you DID IT!! Despite everything anyone has ever told you or made you feel! You proved them wrong!"

I want to say THANK YOU to Will for always supporting me and encouraging my gym madness ;) I love you!! And my December Mamas for being my ears to listen when I was down and my cheerleaders when I was successful. I whole heartedly mean it when I say I could NOT have done it without each and everyone of you! And last, but certainly not least, Bobbi Sharp. I'm so glad we have been partners in this journey together, I could not have asked for a better friend to go through this with! You are truly and inspiration and "whip cracker" when I need it. ;) Thank you for just being YOU! Hugs Mama!!

Next goal: 178lbs. (80lbs lost)
My ideal weight would be between 172-178lbs. that would put me in the healthy BMI range. Ideally I would like to be 175lbs. :) Here we go.... another journey about to begin...

ONE pound!

Okay, I'm an addict. I couldn't wait until next Monday, so I got on the scale this morning. I will go ahead and count this as my weekly weigh-in (just a day late).

199.2!

There are a few things that make this unbelievable:
1. I ate so crappy this week, but I guess not as bad as I thought.
2. I actually held onto the 100's! So, that makes it "official" to me. No more 200's! I just won't have it!
3. I use how my body "feels" to determine if I think I've gained weight. So, I felt my tummy this morning and felt like I was chunkier today than before. Note to self: that technique obviously doesn't work.

I am ONE POUND away from -60lbs. loss! ONE.POUND. I feel like I've been so close for a couple of weeks now, and this WILL be the week I drop the last pound. I've been good about diet since I got back home and have been working hard at the gym the past couple days, so I've got to keep it up if I want to lose that last pesky pound!

Random thought:
I've been noticing the commercials for weight loss plans and they always have people on there saying, "I've lost XXlbs on ____!" I always look at them and think, "Wow! That's a lot of weight and they look so different!"...then I realize that I've lost the same amount or even more than most of the people that I'm commenting about. I don't realize sometimes that I *really* have lost a lot of weight. I do look different. It is just proof to myself that I still have some work to do on the emotional/mental side of the weight loss. And I know that part will take longer and more effort that taking off the pounds will. I'm still a work in progress. ;)

Give me a break!

It's been a few days since I've posted because we have had a CRAZY busy week! We both got new vehicles, got to see Will's family from NYC, had a date night and went to the beach for a friends wedding. We are pooped now!

During this time I ate like crap and drank a little *too* much during the wedding ;) and now I'm certainly feeling the effects. Ugh. Because of this I am giving myself a break from a weigh-in tomorrow. I have not weighed myself since Wednesday (because of schedule and just not wanting too lol) and I'm going to try and wait to weigh again until next Monday's weigh-in.

Emotionally, I *know* I have to give myself breaks, and I remind myself that I am losing weight while trying to live life. So, I *know* that there will be times when I can't workout every day or eat perfectly. I just hate that I haven't figured out that I feel sick (physically and emotionally) when I eat crappy food and not workout. The plus side to that is though, that it makes me look forward to getting back to my "healthy schedule" of eating right and working out. Before, I would have binged and then given up, so it's just a 180 for me, that is cool.

I'm SO GLAD to just relax today, eat right and go to the gym later---my how my thought processes have changed! ;)

ONE!!

I got the "1" this morning!! *WOOT WOOT!* 

Honestly, I didn't "feel" as excited as I thought I would. I think it's because it hasn't hit me that it is "real". If I can hold onto it for a few days, then I think it will sink in. It is so weird not to see a 200something :)

Also, only 1.4lbs to my 60lbs. goal!! Hoping to reach it this week!

Monday Weigh-in: 7/18/11

200.2, down 1.6

Damn you 200! I was really hoping for under 200 this week, but just couldn't seem to get there.

Confessions:
1. I binge ate Friday night due to stress. I was really disappointed in myself because I had been doing really well with not doing that. I guess though that a slip up is bound happen every once and a while.

2. I know the reason I didn't lose that much this week was because of stress. I was not mentally "there" this week and I know stress hinders weight loss. I also just wasn't as motivated this week during my gym workouts. Today though, a lot of my stress has been relieved, so I'm hoping for a better week next week.

I WILL SEE "1" THIS WEEK. NO EXCUSES. PERIOD.

Stuck?

200.6 again this morning?

I'm not upset about this (because I honestly was worried about a small gain from the extra chips and guacamole yesterday), but it is a little weird to be here for three days in a row. And if it was any other number it wouldn't be a big deal, but it's because I'm trying to break through a HUGE milestone that it makes it seem like it's taking forever. Ugh. Doesn't that always happen? ;)

I also have been thinking, what makes my body have one week where I can drop lots of weight and then the next week not so much? It's not a bad thing, I just can't figure out why it happens.

Yesterday I did take a break, and I genuinely needed it. It felt good to sit home and just play around with baby girl. :)

Today I will hit the gym.....hard! ;)

What's Cooking?

Thought I would post my lunch and dinner today! I feel a little guilty because I think I ate too many chips with my guacamole, but it was super hard not to. Ugh. I hope I don't regret that tomorrow.

For lunch, homemade guacamole. Super easy to make! 3 avacados, 1/2 red onion (more or less, your preference), 1/2 lime squeezed and 1 tbls. of mayo all mixed together. DE-LISH!

For dinner we had, Braised Balsamic Chicken (I will post in "Recipes" tab) with Broccoli.  It was really good! 

In other news, I decided to rest today from the gym... I felt a little "off" today, so decided just to take a little time to myself. I think it was a smart decision for me ;) 

My Plan

Just letting you know, I added a "My Plan" tab. These are the things I'm doing to lose the weight :)

Also, stepped on the scale this morning (hoping for a "1", lol!) and it was the exactly the same, 200.6. I'm okay with that, I don't expect it to just "fall off", but I guess I'm anxious now.

Today's plan: a few errands, then go to gym for cardio and weight training (shoulders) with Will.

Have a great day everyone!!

Sooooo close!

200.6 was my weight this morning (because I'm a scale junkie and weight a couple times a week!).

I can.not.wait to break 200.... but it's almost to the point where I don't know what I would do with myself if I saw a "1" as the first digit in my weight. I do not remember the last time I saw a "1" on the scale, literally, I have no clue.

So, today's plan of action is pool with the family, then I'll go to the gym just to hit the cardio hard. :) It is Will's rest day from the gym, so no weight training for me today. I'm going to be super careful with calculating my calories to see if I can break through the 200's by Friday. That would be awesome!

Also, Will and I determined this morning that my reward for hitting my -60lb. goal would be a trip to Raleigh for some shopping and (uh oh!)... Chipotle!! :) I know I was proud of myself yesterday for not rewarding myself with food(and I still am), but I've been craaaaaaaving it for months (because the closest one is an hour away) and it is absolutely one of my favorite places, so I think one food reward would be okay ;)

Okay.... now it's time to sweat! 

"Splurge Day" in review

Yesterday was "splurge day" and my meals were as follows:
Breakfast: bowl of Multigrain Cheerios (my staple breakfast)

Lunch: my splurge of choice was a McD's Double Cheeseburger with a side salad

Dinner: Lyndsie's Dr. Pepper Meatballs with steamed veggies

So, I call that a good day ;) Just enough of a splurge to satisfy my craving, but not overboard.

Oh, and the whole "I'm still gonna workout" plan for yesterday...welllllll.... didn't happen ;) I wanted to relax and kind of "treat myself", so Will offered to let me go ahead to the pool and sunbathe all.alone! It was fabulous! He took Madie to the gym with him while I enjoyed some rays. While I was there it made me think, "Wow, I just treated myself with some relaxation instead of food!" That made me proud of myself!

On today's agenda:
We are just going to relax inside because the heat index is supposed to be 101-105 degrees! Then, after nap, we will hit the gym for some cardio and weight training (back and biceps). I stopped my C25K recently, because honestly I got a little bored...but I think I'm going to try it again today.... maybe ;)

Monday Weigh In: 7/11/11

201.8, holy moly guacamole!!, down 5.4! 

I'm super excited about the loss, but even more excited about how close I am to breaking the 200's! I know I haven't been under 200 since I was in HS, so that is also very cool :)

On the other hand... I'm a little nervous too. With my current history, it always seems when I have a big loss one week, I have a gain or a not so good loss the next week. So, in order to break this trend, I'm going to maintain the same motivation this week that I had last week. I really busted my butt last week.

Today is "splurge" day, but I'll still go to the gym because I took off Saturday, and only did Zumba yesterday (which is always fun, and I don't consider it a workout, even though it is).

In other news:
Yesterday, I went to my regular Zumba class that I.absolutely.love with my instructor that I.absolutely.love (who is 7months prego!).  As she starts class she begins to cry hysterically... She proceeds to tell us that she has severely hurt her foot and she is really emotional about it because she loves Zumba, she won't be able to instruct properly that night and that she is going to have to take time off now because of her foot (sooner than planned, even though she was going to take a little time for the baby). I feel really really bad for her :( And I'm sad that I will not be doing Zumba for a while, because the other instructors are not nearly as good, ugh. Maybe I can find another "fun" workout class to do until she comes back...

On to a new week! Hope everyone had a great week filled with successes!! :)

hard.work.

This week I have been busting my butt working out at the gym, and I've been doing really well with portion size and my nutrition. I even turned down a Krispy Kreme doughnut last night, which is very impressive for me, lol! And, I have not had my regular "splurge" day this week either (I'm going to save it for Monday). I'm really hoping for a good weigh-in!

I'm super close to 200, so I'm really trying to reach my 60lb. goal, hopefully, by the end of July! That would be so incredible!

Until recently, I was just losing weight without really "thinking" about it and how far I had come. This week, a light bulb came on and I realized the significance of being the weight I am now. I haven't been this weight (200's) since my freshman year in college, and, if I'm speaking honestly, never really thought I would ever see these numbers again. I had just "settled" with the fact that I would just be a plus size girl, and that just was my destiny. I am realizing that I DO have say in which way I live my life, and I'm choosing not to settle. Being plus size is not "good enough" for me anymore! I'm tired of it, and I'm choosing a healthy happy life over an unhealthy and content one. Life.is.good.

Yes, I'm "that girl" taking a picture of herself at the
gym! I figure it will help motivate me on the days
I don't wanna move. 

Recipes

Just wanted to let you know I added a recipes tab. I've added my favorite recipes so far :)

As for today-- I felt great at the gym yesterday! Worked out hard and was super motivated. Today will be a lazy day for us. Just lounging around and then the gym later, after nap ;) It always feels good to just relax and not go anywhere!

I hope everyone is having a great hump day!

Analyzing

I've had about 3 days off from the gym because of the holiday weekend and lots of things to do. The break was well worth it and much needed! Today, though, it is back to my regular routine.

During this time off I've been analyzing a lot of things about this journey and here are some of my thoughts:

1.)  There have been a few times where I've taken a 3 day break from the gym to do other things. Typically, I would use that time to stuff my face, gain about 5lbs. back, get upset, then stop the weight loss journey. But now, I  know how to handle the "time off" and I seem to enjoy it more. It also makes me realize that I CAN incorporate the gym/exercise into my everyday life...for the rest of my life. It truly is all about a lifestyle change, and per some conversations and deep thinking, I'm finally starting to understand that. 

2.)  I believe my weight loss journey has been two phases. The first phase was physically dropping the pounds, but now I feel like I've entered another phase...mentally changing my understanding and attitude towards myself and weight loss. Honestly, the latter is the most difficult. Years and years of "untangling" my thoughts and letting go of negative thoughts is a challenging process, but I'm beginning to work through it. That will honestly be a huge accomplishment!

3.)  It has certainly helped me work through my thoughts about a recent loss and provided me with a more positive outlook. I think if I didn't have this journey I could have slipped into a depression over the loss. So I thank God for that!

4.) This blog has absolutely helped me in working through my thoughts--so THANK YOU Bobbi Sharp for suggesting I start one! P.S--Check out her journey!! She's almost to 30lbs. lost!! Go cheer her on! 

Monday Weigh-in: 7/4/11

207.2, down 2.8 :)

Happy 4th of July!! 

Haven't seen you since HS...

Started at a Size 20!

One h.a.p.p.y girl!